 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
||||||||
|
||||||||
|
|
||||||||
|
||||||||
|
|
|
CALM – Conquering Anxiety with the Linden Method The Linden Method Newsletter Issue 6
Hi Donald, Welcome to CALM, Conquering Anxiety with the Linden Method . This issue includes… 1. “DOES YOU ‘DO’? OR DOES YOU ’DON’T’? Decision-making during anxiety.” Frightened of making decisions? Frightened you won’t be able to deal with the outcome of your decisions? Yes… decisions can make you feel vulnerable… but use them! They’re a unique opportunity for you to exert real control over your anxiety! 2. Elizabeth ’s story… “I was conditioned by an abusive partner to believe that I was worthless. I knew I should leave him… but couldn’t face making that move.” Read the amazing story of an inspiring lady, whose entire life turned around after she took control of her anxiety using The Linden Method. 3. “anxiety bites…”. My useful and inspiring audio tools! Download your FREE audio on how to eliminate anxiety using my Method. Why let anxiety disempower you? Use the power of decision-making to take control of your anxiety! 4 “What do YOU think?” Tell me what you think of CALM… suggestions, ideas and feedback are always welcome!
1. “DOES YOU ‘DO’ OR DOES YOU ‘DON’T’? Decision Making During Anxiety” Let me ask you a question… how difficult do you find it to make decisions? (Did you notice I asked ‘difficult’ as opposed to ‘easy’?!) I know I used to find it almost impossible to make decisions. I realize now that I was afraid. My anxiety made me doubt myself to the extent that I felt totally disempowered. I thought that any decision I reached – even after intelligent analysis and deep thought – would inevitably be the wrong one. Why? Because I had no faith in my decision-making abilities. I had no self-belief. And I gave myself no credit for all the right decisions I’d made through my life up to that point. The result? I lived in limbo! Now, I refuse to live my life frightened of making decisions, frightened of venturing into the ‘unknown’. Nowadays, I have more confidence in my decision-making abilities! · I make decisions with due care and consideration of the facts, but I don’t ever over- analyze situations or become obsessive about possible outcomes. · I no longer automatically assume that I’ll make the wrong decision; in fact, I often feel instinctively drawn towards the right decision. I trust my instincts now more than ever before and act on them more dynamically! · I’m not afraid to have faith in myself and in my decision-making abilities. · Most importantly, I fully accept that I might just make the wrong decision - but that’s life! And even if I do make the wrong decision, I know that my life won’t fall apart. I know that I have the common sense and strength of character to deal with the fall-out from any decision I make. I now realize that it’s learning to live with the results of the decision – regardless of how right or wrong you might think they are – that is so important. When I was anxious, the prospect of having to live through the consequences of making the wrong decision was terrifying! I was convinced that I wouldn’t be able to cope… But now I think, well, who’s to say that something is wrong or right ? A course of action might be wrong for that person… wrong at that time… wrong in those circumstances… but otherwise might be RIGHT! Few things in life are ever black and white, are they? But I know that anxiety sufferers are drawn to the extremes of ‘right and wrong’! They find a kind of comfort in plain ‘black and white’ scenarios, because that way they can foresee the outcome more easily. The definite is far easier to understand and work around than the many ‘greys’ of maybe. Trouble is, of course, few things in life are definite … so anxiety sufferers finds themselves shunting between maybe this and maybe that … unable to make a decision… and living a ‘half life’ as a result and, coupled with the, sometimes, disturbing and always invasive symptoms of anxiety and panic, this is multiplied. They can’t move forward because it entails having faith in themselves and confidence in their ability to ‘cope’ with whatever situation, or affect, that decision produces. Far better, then, to adopt the pose of an ostrich! By burying your head in the sand and avoiding any kind of decision, you’ll be ok… Right? WRONG! And it’s wrong because what lies at the root of this inability to make decisions is FEAR. And, if there’s one thing I’ve come to learn through my recovery from anxiety it’s the sheer pointlessness of living your life in fear! PLEASE… NEVER BE AFRAID OF MAKING DECISIONS! NEVER BE AFRAID OF FEELING SCARED. AND REMEMBER, WE ALL FEEL SCARED SOMETIMES! YOU’RE NOT UNIQUE! No matter how ‘in control’ some people may appear, the truth is that NOBODY has real control over their life. We ALL experience weaknesses… we ALL have our fears… we are ALL, to some extent, at the mercy of external factors over which we can only ever exert so much control. And would you want to be ‘in control’ of everything anyway?! What a responsibility to have! And, who’s to say that ‘being in control’ equals ‘being happy’?! You DO have the power within yourself to say – I AM NOT AFRAID OF That might sound impossible to you right now – but what you’ve got to do is take control of that fear… otherwise you’re letting something that should have NO HOLD over you become a BARRIER to you living your life to the full! As an anxiety sufferer, I used to think that successful people who are deemed by society to ‘have it all’ must have some kind of secret formula… they must know something that none of the rest of us know. I now realize that’s not the case. Even the most successful of entrepreneurs can make mistakes… can reach the wrong conclusion… can make the wrong decision but the difference is… they don’t care if it all goes wrong because they just get up, brush themselves down and start again! I recently read a quote from James Dyson, the British inventor of the Dyson vacuum cleaner… he said, “Enjoy failure and learn from it. You never learn from success.” He’s absolutely right! It really struck a chord within me. Here’s a man who obviously has talent, intelligence and determination. He was committed to his idea even when others doubted it. He showed tremendous dedication and eventually succeeded in getting people to notice his idea. But in spite of his obvious ‘success’, by his own admission even he knows failure! So, where does that leave the rest of us…?! Don’t be afraid of making decisions. They are your opportunity to learn; and let’s face it, we’re all on a sharp learning curve here! Decisions are your opportunity to make your mark on your life. We all come to crossroads at one time or another. If we didn’t, nothing would change. Decisions bring about change. They make you develop and move forward in life. And, even an apparently ‘wrong’ decision can bring about positive consequences – even if it takes years before they can be seen or felt. Having been frightened for years of facing my crossroads and making my decisions in life… I now see ‘decisions’ for what they are. My personal and unique chances to positively influence the course my life is on. So, use your instinctive decision-making skills today to influence your future… and by doing so, you will rob your anxiety of its control over your life. Take control of the underlying fear using The Linden Method and you can head down this highway quickly and effectively.
I met Elizabeth* (32) three years ago. She’s now happily married – but when I first spoke to her, she was suffering from anxiety, a result of having lived in an abusive relationship for over ten years. Elizabeth says: “My ex-husband was always a very domineering influence in my life. We met when we were still at school, he was a year or so older than me. We started dating and were engaged within six months… married by the time I was 18. So right through my formative years, HE was the dominant one, controlling everything I did and making all my decisions for me.” Throughout her twenties, Elizabeth became increasingly under her partner’s control. “By the time I was 22, I was a mum. I was at home, totally dependent on my partner for the roof over our heads and the food on our plates. Looking back, I had absolutely no say in anything. At first, I had romantic notions that it was only right the man should make all the decisions in a relationship. But as I got older, and as I wanted to have more say in the relationship, that’s when I realised that he’d taken control. If I challenged him, I was made to feel worthless. He’d humiliate me, belittle me, and abuse me. I knew I should leave him, but I didn’t think anybody else would ever want me, so I felt I had no choice but to stay. This was my life and I had to make the most of it” The relationship became abusive after the birth of her son, but Elizabeth continued with her marriage until the verbal abuse became physical. “That was the turning point for me. I was scared for my child and that instinct took over, really. I left my husband – but I couldn’t leave the guilt behind. After years of not being allowed to make any decisions, of having no control, here I was making the decision to deprive my son of his father. It was a decision forced upon me..,. a decision I didn’t want to take. And I felt so guilty having made it.” The guilt Elizabeth experienced at her decision to leave her husband left her suffering with anxiety and depression. Go to www.panic-anxiety.com/elizabeth.asp to find out how my Method allowed Elizabeth to free herself of her anxiety and gave her the strength to move on in life. * This is not Elizabeth ’s real name 3. “anxiety bites… DECISION MAKING DURING ANXIETY.” With today’s issue of CALM, you can download “anxiety bites… DECISION MAKING DURING ANXIETY ” . Exclusive to CALM members, you can hear my ideas on how to use decisions to spearhead change in your life! You can download this by clicking here 4. “What do YOU think?” Tell me what you think of CALM… please e-mail your thoughts and feedback to CALM@panic-anxiety.com Take care, regards Charles
|
|
|
|
[Home] [Dr Bolton] [Calm 1] [Calm 2] [Calm 3] [Calm 4] [Calm 5] [Calm 6] [Calm 7] [Link Page 1] |
|
|
|
|